Can’t sleep this July morning… It’s quarter to six and the birds are out; I can hear the C-train go by in the distance. What’s keeping me up I can’t say, but it has been awhile since I posted here and I’m not sure about too much anymore…

It’s not the first time; my sleeping patterns have been progressively becoming weirder and weirder as time goes on, and are straight-up fucked after four years of university and a number of increasingly more bizarre roommates. This last week especially has been bad; I’ve lately had a tendency to crash around four or five in the morning, and then emerge from my bedroom sometime around then in the afternoon. My bipolar ex-girlfriend used to sleep in a schedule something like this, and it caused no end of strife and miscommunication. After all, it isn’t easy being a productive member of society when most of the working world is going home by the time you eat breakfast.

Perhaps because I’ve admittedly been somewhat of a hermit as of late, I feel progressively more out of touch with the world I’m living in. I’ve been to so few parties and interacted with so few people as of late, it feels I’m in a bubble, one that’s becoming progressively smaller as people go about their busy summer plans and leave my lazy self-employed ass to lament how much free time I have in this empty ol’ house…

Regardless, I’m starting to find social media, the Internet, the entire Web 2.0 Ajaxian Ruby-On-Rail experience, to be a little stifling, lethargic even. Clearly I need to get out and enjoy the summer weather (Which I will be doing plenty of in the next few months as I go to various outdoor summer music festivals), but it’s been awhile since I’ve done something as desolate as walk around Calgary by myself (Taking pictures, even!).

Granted, going back to things I know work has been a bit of a recurring theme recently. I’ve been looking at things I used to do — photography, SCUBA diving, Judo, skateboarding, snowboarding even — things that I use to comprise my identity. And looking at my life now, I see how few things I do, total. It seems I’m locked in a rut, such as it were. It seems that I need to analyze my rationale for the things I do now more than ever; where does my work end and my Self begin?

Wow, identity issues in my 20s. You’d think I’d be over this shit by post-secondary. It seems this is going to be an interesting summer…